Fly In The Face Of Fear

How often do you sit there with fear hanging on your shoulders like a bully from the school yard playground?

You've lived your life, head down, doing whatever fear tells you to do, because you don't want any trouble. You don't want to go against the grain. You're worried if you go against your fear, it'll end up being right and you'll forever have to face the laughter of ridicule, remembering what an idiot failure you are? OR maybe you did try to face fear and did fail...

You trust fear, more than you trust yourself...

When did that happen? When did you decide to let fear creep in holding a knife to your throat, knowing everyday its killing you. A slow death. A slow death of your soul while your body painfully lives on in this prison.

In anger you start randomly blaming anything. So and so, cut you off in traffic. The guy at work is a jerk because he kisses butt better than you do and gets paid more. Its not your fault your life is the way it is, that's just how life is now days. Its not your fault you can't pay the bills this month, the economy is bad, your wife/husband spent all the money, the kids needed those Nintendos so you could get some peace and quiet after work, besides they deserve them! And new situations constantly arise, (hey I like "friends night out!"), comforting your anger daily and carefully displacing the guilt so you don't have to deal with all the pain that surrounds the fact that you totally hate your life because deep inside you know your soul is in a prison. A dark, dank prison where everybody, including your own mind tells it what to do everyday.

Aren't you sad? Aren't you tired of not ever doing what you REALLY want to do? Aren't you tired of the mounds of bills? The people constantly pulling at you from every direction? Aren't you tired of always feeling like there is no way out even if you DID want to get out of your prison? You're stuck!

Well I felt that way at one point in my life too. I couldn't see where my life was going as a single mother of a bright little girl who deserved so much more. At that time, I had gone to church diligently and did everything they said would make me succeed not only there but in my personal life and finances. I did everything at work too that they told me to do. It was useless though. I hardly had any friends, I was deep in debt and spiritually bankrupt. My daughter was suffering the most and I knew it. I was in utter despair. But I eventually found a way out of this black hole and can tell you that you can change it all. It is possible if you're willing to stand up and take accountability for it.

You are not stuck, you only "seem" stuck. You're only focused on the things that do keep you stuck. You're focused on what you don't have, don't want and can't stand. Its like running full speed ahead with your head turned backwards.

Until you change your focus (turn your head in the direction you're wanting to go), you will always feel like there is no hope for you. Give yourself a break. Stop acting like you're not worth it. Stop feeling like even though John Doe down the street has $150,000 paying job, you're not worth that. The truth of the matter is that we are all worth having what we want. And we all have the power to create whatever it is we want. With some time and patience and a lot of tenacity to face your fear (of yourself) you can change your entire life around.

Face that fear by running directly at it. If you're afraid to do something because of what other people will think, then do it anyway. You'll discover after awhile, their opinions are not only invalid for what you are doing, but also not that big of deal. Many times, people just don't understand what you are going through and therefore are not even qualified to judge you. We are all equals and once you realize that, other people stop having that power over you.

If you're deathly afraid to do what you absolutely love, chances are, that's exactly what you're supposed to be doing. Of course as long as its morally legal and not intentionally out to hurt others.

Start remembering what it is you love to do and move towards it with good intentions, and positive thoughts. Get pictures of what you want and tape them up so you can constantly remember what you're moving towards. Ignore your fears by displacing them with exactly what you want. Dream and use your imagination and start thinking of what kind of future you'd really like to have! This alone, will be a great step to conquering fear.

If you want to be a professional writer, start a personal journal.
If you want to be a professional sports player, start in your own backyard.
If you want to be an actor or singer, start in front of your mirror.
If you want to be a cook, start in your kitchen.

Take baby steps towards your future. Like with all things, it takes time to become good at what we like. Start studying what it is you wish you were doing. Study others that are doing what you wish to be doing. Take small steps. As you take each step, different opportunities begin to open up because you're already moving away from your endless broken record of a life which only went around in circles. The minute you step out of that old thinking, more opportunities, and points of view can occur. The more you move, the more new things are able to reach you. Keep your mind open to receive new ideas!

If you become frustrated at any point in the process, go back to things like this blog that you've read which will begin to encourage you again. Hire a coach to help keep you focused as well. Do anything and everything to fight your fears of moving into the unknown future you so badly desire!

Most of all DO NOT GIVE UP!